Thursday, June 2, 2016

"As Christ Loved the Church..."-She Said

Pam-She Said

Love is hard. It really is. I came into my marriage with a lot of misconceptions about what love looks like. Until I met Lucas, I was under the impression that just saying the words, "I love you" always meant something. They made me feel important and accepted. And unfortunately, I would say them, too, pretty freely, to people who breezed in and out of my life, without realizing the weight of those words. They became empty without the guns to back them up. And as a divorced woman, toting her baggage around like cancerous growths, I needed someone with the guns.

Luckily, I found Jesus.

If anyone had the guns to show me love, pure and unconditional, it was Him.  And a healing began in me when I realized that His words meant "sacrifice". They meant, "I'm in it for the long haul".  They meant, "I love you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why or how. I love you."

Then I met Lucas.  I knew he loved me when he picked up my baggage and took it on himself. When he decided, against all odds and amidst church and personal controversy, that he was going to marry me, the older, broken, divorced, damsel-in-distress.  He listened to my stories, good, bad, and ugly, without judging me. He decided I was worth saving, that I had value, even when I didn't think that was true. He had the guns to back up his words.

What about me? When I said, "I love you" to others in my past, was it about sacrifice? Nah, not so much. I had to develop within my heart the ability to truly love.


Ephesians 5:22 tells us "Submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." That smells like sacrifice to me.  Because when I gave my heart to Jesus, I was in it to win it. I vowed to respect and honor him forever, to show my love and dedication, not just talk about it. To lay everything down for Him. My husband deserves that.  Your husband deserves that.

As Lucas wrote in his blog today, getting to know each other allows us to love on one another. So, what speaks to your husband's needs? Does he need encouragement? Affirmation? Some alone time?  His favorite homemade dinner without asking for it first?  Does he need a listening ear?  Maybe he needs to hear that you believe in him and you're proud of him. Maybe he needs to know that you trust him.

Getting to know each other grants us the capacity to make sacrifices for one another. It's not always easy to step outside of our comfort zone for someone else, to give up what we've planned or expected to support one another. It's just not easy. But Jesus's sacrifice wasn't easy. It was friggin' insanely hard.

Welcome to the gun show, ladies. ;)

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